FT5: Hot Ladies Of Indie Rock
I think you all knew that ATH would go here at some point and alas today is the day that I take the leap and display our true male hormone driven selves with a top 5 about the hot ladies of indie rock. I won’t beat around the bush here, this post has little to do with the musical talents of these ladies, and more to do with how they drive me crazy with their good looks. I promise not to offend anyone and also promise that these women have made my list because they are empowered and musically talented women who also just so happen to be pleasing on the eyes. I love them all and would probably just turn into a bumbling idiot if they ever actually spoke to me… You will see a lot of familiar faces on the list and probably take issue with some big names being left off. I love you too Feist and Neko, just not quite enough for you to break into my Top 5. If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me sooner! Follow the jump for our full top 5 breakdown.
Oh Jenny. Ohhhhh Jenny. I am so sorry that we have disrespected you by letting you barely slide into the list at number 5. I immediately regret this decision because you are the one woman on this list that I know would kick my ass and then write a song about it. Oh Jenny not only are you a beautiful and sexy woman, but you sing about your one night stands and we all wish we could be that guy. I feel oh so sorry for your band mates in Rilo Kiley because I unfortunately do not know any of their names and stare at you throughout the whole set. Maybe you’ve realized this now as you decided to go the solo route, take more control over the situation and make yourself that much more desirable to me. If Fred Savage ever tries anything, I swear I’ll take his ass out. Please oh pretty please keep wearing those short shorts.
Zoey is our newest member to the world of indie rock. She’s our rookie on the bench. Zoey’s only been involved in the world of music since her and M. Ward got together and created the enchanting 2008 album Volume 1 as the duo She & Him. To be honest, we’ve been in love with Ms. Deschanel for a long long time now, and we’re just happy that she calls herself a musician now and can be on our little list. Zoey is a cutie with an attitude. She never moves on stage but her raspy, sexy voice is enough to drive a man wild inside. Zoey may look like the girl next door you want to take home to mom, but I know she’s really a bad girl deep down. Mr. Ben Gibbard you better watch yourself. If you ever mess around, we’ll be waiting to take you out.
Allison Mosshart is our hot rockstar on the list. She spends most of her time in The Kills and just recently became a full on front woman in Jack White’s new project Dead Weather. She is hot. She is uber hot. The way that little part of black hair is always hanging down in her face drives me crazy. The way she smokes those cigarettes and sings in her dirty dark voice during her shows makes me want her even more. She is the kind of woman you want to spend a weekend with in New Orleans and tell all your friends about how crazy it was. I’ll be sitting front and center at the Dead Weather set during ACL dreaming about what it would be like to be with Allison. She is the definition of hot. Yikes.
How do you sum up Ms. Haines? Do you talk about her role in Metric? Do you discuss her quiet solo album? Maybe you wish to hear all about her famous poet father? We can, sure, but we’re here to talk about how amazingly gorgeous the lady is. You have to give it to her for her music ability, but it doesn’t hurt that you can’t even notice the rest of the band because your eyes are following her the entire time. She knows it too, which is an example of how empowered she has become. Yea, she’s got on a short skirt, but you don’t even pay attention because you’re just enraptured in her performance. You cannot take your eyes off her. What I wouldn’t do to Emily Haines.
Oh man. Oh man oh man. Chan Marshall, known to most of you as Cat Power, is what every man dreams of. She is incredibly beautiful, likes to party, and can sing you to sleep at night with a voice like an angel. The woman appeared in print ads for Chanel. She has the face and body of a model. She is a successful woman who commands the stage and demands your attention. What the hell else can you ask for? Seriously go google her name and see tell me I’m wrong. It really gets no better. Maybe it’s just a matter of taste, but Chan Marshall is by far the hottest woman of indie rock.
So that’s it. Are you ladies out there ready to call me a pig? Maybe you take issue with your favorite lady of indie rock being left off the list? We’re open to discussion. Call me!