Friday Bottom 5: ACL 2009
So just as I did last year, I’m going to take a minute to be a negative nancy and focus on some of the downer moments of our ACL weekend. As always, the positives greatly outweigh the negatives and I still enjoyed my festival experience (no matter how much it rained). You’ll notice that most of my list consists of things that no one can really do anything about so that leaves me hopeful that next year will be near perfection. I’m willing to bet that you can guess my #1 & #2 slots, but damnit if that weather wasn’t the worst I can ever remember. Yes it may even top the 107 degree heat and the dust from hell. So follow the jump for my bottom 5 of ACL 2009.
5. Mos Def
This set reminded me why I’ve just about given up on ever seeing a good rap/hip-hop show ever again. Seriously. I mean could you even be more cliche? The guy starts his set 20 minutes late and then doesn’t say a word until he’s done with his 10 minute percussion solo. What a load of crap this was. When the best song you play is a Radiohead cover (All I Need), you are doing nothing but wasting my time. Stick to your acting career man because you obviously have no idea how to put on a show.
4. Sound On The Dell Stage
How does this seem to happen on at least one stage every year? Every year we all talk about that one stage that sounded like poo poo all weekend long. This year, for me, it was the Dell stage. It all began with the popping, crackling and general quietness of the Blitzen Trapper set on Friday. Then Dr. Dog sounded like a muddled car stero in a 95 Honda Accord. Granted the sound sort of improved by the last day when I watched Dirty Projectors, but that doesn’t make up for the lackluster quality on Friday and Saturday. I have friends who can run sound better than that. No really, that is not a joke.
So before I get into the disaster that was the weather of ACL weekend, I’ll mention my frustration with the Zilker shut down for the next month. I know I know, the weather was bad and we need to re-build the thing. I’m just a big cry baby. Wah wah. But seriously, we already waited around for this beautiful grass to be laid and now we’ll be another month without? Damnit. By the time Zilker re-opens it’ll be too cold outside to even enjoy it and they’ll start throwing up that lame trail of lights BS. Now where am I going to play ULTIMATE!?!?!
2. Dillo Dirt
Me: “Man this place is super muddy today.”
Friend: “Yeah no kidding…”
Me: “JESUS! And it really smells like shit!”
Friend: “You’ve obviously never heard of dillo dirt”
So by now you’ve heard of this new “dillo dirt” and how it’s composed of old lawn clippings and sewer sludge. Maybe I don’t know much about lawn care, but would you really want to use sewer waste when sodding a public park? I know I wouldn’t want it in my yard. I mean when it rains and then it’s hot like on Sunday, you’re left with a steaming pile of excrement. Literally. Sunday at ACL we were all walking around in one big steaming pile of shit. My favorite moments on Sunday were revealing the secret of dillo dirt to individuals who had just rubbed some of the stuff on their body and/or face. “Wha!?! You mean I just covered myself in what could be my own shit!?!”. Man that was fun. Only one thing could top the warm brown pudding from Sunday…
Saturday at ACL can be marked down as my worst single day festival experience in my 8 year history of attending ACL. I honestly don’t even know where to begin here. The weather was terrible ALL day long. The music was mostly sub-par all day long. My only real highlight for the day came from the danceable set from !!!. That was at 1:30. The day only took a huge turn for the worse after that. The low point of my day was during the Flogging Molly set when the rain came down harder than ever and I took refuge under an ATM tent drenched from head to toe. Okay, I’ll stop bitching and leave you with some quotes from random people during my day in chronological order. Maybe it will lighten my memories from Saturday.
– “Nice rain gear dumbass” (I wore a white t-shirt)
– “God Grizzly Bear is so boring. I’m taking refuge under a tree.”
– “Dude, have you ever seen Dave Matthews live?”
– “It’s raining again!!!!”
– “Man this would be really cool if it wasn’t raining”
– “Mind if I stand next to this ATM with you?”
– “How is it still raining!?!?!”
– “Anyone got a clean pair of socks?”
– “I’m never leaving this tent.”
– “Fuck Mos Def. I left my tent for this?”
– “They’re playing Hazards of Love from start to finish!?!!?”
– “I’m going to watch the OU game.”
– “When is Ghostland going to put out some new music worth a damn?”
Have a funny story you want to share? You still have a special place in my heart ACL festival and I’ll be back for more next year.
Honorable Mention: The Hazards of Love by Decemberists, DMB fans, children covered in dillo dirt from head to toe, off-roading strollers, long lines for food, no local beer love