FT5: Bands the Radio Should Ban
Honestly, I’m not a huge connoisseur of the air waves in our nation, but occasionally there are those days when I rush out the door without my iPod and I have to suffer the pain that is radio. Recently, with my hectic schedule, this has happened more and more, so it left me to ponder why on Earth some bands still get ready play, and more so, some certain songs. I thought of my top five, and while some are song specific, others just need to leave the airwaves in general.
What? Why in the world would you put MGMT on there bro? Well, a multitude of reasons. First, the only song I seem to ever hear by the band is “Kids,” which was a good song, but one that I heard way way too much during my radio experiences. I mean, at least Phoenix gave us two awesome songs to annoy us with during their radio dominance/tenure. It’s not just the fact that the song has been overplayed, but the fact that it’s not even the best song on their worst album. I know, I know, you all love Oracular Spectacular, but why? It had three maybe four songs on it that were decent and catchy, but as a collection, it’s nowhere near the creativity of Congratulations. I’d rather MGMT get respect and adoration for their current work, which I deem more valuable, than the one song that all those “kids” fell in love with.
Admittedly, I loved this band as a young teenager. I could probably even play the majority of the songs on the radio on a guitar, albeit slightly off-key, which is why I never turned out to be much of a guitar player. But, Billy Corgan is a huge dick, and I have no respect for the way he treats everyone in his projects, nor his overall perception of his place in the music world. The fact that he still gets radio play only feeds into his ego, which makes us all endure his douchebaggery even more than we should. Not to mention the fact that he hasn’t done anything creative or fascinating since back in the day, so I’m pretty sure the radio could do without him, or “Today” or “1979” or whatever other track they decide to play from Siamese Dream this afternoon on 101X.
This is a pretty short one I feel, as it’s clear that both of these bands are worthless and should die. I know, I was at ACL, and I saw Muse–twice in fact, but a great live show doesn’t excuse the fact that these guys sort of suck. All their music sounds exactly the same, and I don’t care who is having babies with Kate Hudson, it doesn’t excuse the fact that you make redundant early Radiohead rip-off tracks to play on spaceships. I don’t even want to go near Kings of Leon, for fear of their legions of fans chasing me down with pitchforks. Suffice it to say, that if you left a 15 year old virgin (boy or girl) in a room with these guys, he/she would probably come out pregnant. I hope this band realizes they have no talent and decide to hang it all up. Break up guys, save the world.
Dear lord, will you make this music go away? When I was 13, I, too, bought Rubberneck. I jammed it out on the way to soccer practice, sang along to “Possum Kingdom” in the car, and yet here I am almost 18 years later, and I still hear the exact same song. For it’s time, I’ll admit it was a sweet album, with some sweet jams, but do we really need to still hear it? I find it hard to believe that the last 15 years is so devoid of quality music that we can’t find something else to play on the radio other than this band. I mean, I write about almost ten bands a week, who I think are making more creative music, yet these guys still get so much love. Don’t get me wrong, the band had their place, but like so many bands before them, they need to retire from the radio, reserve their value, and just move on. Let some other mediocre band get some love out there.
I don’t sit here pretending like I didn’t participate in the extra-curricular activities associated with Sublime, but that doesn’t mean that I had to associate my party habits with my musical tastes. I mean, if you have to include bong rips in the background of a song to find yourself some fans, then you’re probably not writing very good songs. It’s similar to the Bob Marley phenomenon, where a bunch of kids just love him because they think he smoked lots of pot, which I’m sure he did, but he also tried to be an advocate for the people of Jamaica. I don’t think Sublime were trying to advocate anything other than drug use, and unfortunately, that came back to bite them. It’s a shame that DJs think they can seduce young listeners with drug songs, rather than provide them with quality music that we all know is out there. And, to top it all off, the best Sublime song I ever heard was “Hope,” which was a cover of a greater band who I will not mention in this piece so as not to ruin their name. Face it, drug music does not equal good music.
I know there are tons more bands out there, and I had a hard time narrowing it down to just 5, as you can see, but I think these are the one’s that I find as sins against the majority of listeners in the world. It’s a shame that radio can’t improve itself and offer better options for the masses. It hurts even more when a radio station claims to be an independent, such as the one in Austin where I heard all these songs, then goes on to market rubbish to consumers in the same fashion as the rest of the corporate stations. Let’s face it folks. Radio sucks. Turn it off.