FT5: Songs Not To Play At Your Wedding
Over the course of spring and summer, I feel like I’ve already attended enough weddings to fulfill some sort of lifetime achievement award. As most people say, “I’m at that age”, that age when it seems like everyone is either getting married, recently married, or making their first offspring. Frequent wedding goers will reluctantly agree with me when I say that our favorite pastime at weddings and wedding receptions is to judge the shit out of every little detail. Come on, we all do it. Don’t try to lie to my face and tell me you aren’t talking trash about the way too long ceremony, the annoying wedding DJ, or why your friends decided to get married outside in the middle of July. We all do it people. Today I’d like to focus on the music side of things (we are a music site BTW) and point out 5 songs that should be banned from your reception while giving you an acceptable alternative. Everyone is thinking the same thing… I’m just the A-hole prepared to call you out. I apologize ahead of time if anyone is offended that I think their choice of “Wonderful Tonight” as a first dance number is way too cheesy. Follow the jump for more.
5. Etta James – “At Last” (First Dance)
Out of all the songs on my list, this is the only one that I actually used to enjoy until everyone in America started using this as their first couple dance. I actually went to a wedding a couple years ago, bet my friend $10 that this would be the first dance song, and PRESTO, I won myself $10. If you use this one, we’ll all be smiling and happy for you, but then whisper about how cliché you are behind your back.
Recommendations: Bright Eyes – “First Day of My Life”, Ben Kweller – “Thirteen”, Arctic Monkeys – “Baby I’m Yours” (written by Van McCoy). Honestly for this category, just pick something that is meaningful to both of you and not just some tired cliché. Is that really so hard?
4. Bob Carlisle – “Butterfly Kisses” (Father/Daughter dance)
Okay for starters, this song is WAY too long (over 5 minutes) for anyone to actually sit through and watch you dance. Second, the song is downright awful. It’s really not even up for debate. While doing some research for this top 5, I couldn’t even make it through 2 minutes of this horrible song. I’m sure some of you may have your feelings hurt, but it’s time to face the facts. Daughters, if you love your father, you will find something that won’t make him cringe.
Recommendations: Your options here for a non-cliché song about father/daughter love are extremely limited. At a wedding I went to not long ago, the daughter read a short story about how her and her dad used to love Garth Brooks and dancing to his music. They then danced to “Friends in Low Places”, which sure isn’t a great song, but everyone appreciated that it meant something to them. Don’t be a lazy ass. Talk to your father.
3. Kool & The Gang – “Celebration” (Party Starter)
Why I ask you, WHY!?! Why do people insist on playing songs that give them instructions to “celebrate good times”? Don’t you already know that you’re at a wedding and should be celebrating and having fun? I despise this song. Once I hear it starting up, I do not “celebrate good times” and go outside for some fresh air. Any DJ who plays this song should immediately be fired and replaced by any decent human being with some common sense.
Recommendations: Do I even need go there? The options are limitless. I hear Montell Jordan – “This is How We do It” works and it fits in with my age group. Maybe some JT? Seriously, anything with a solid dance beat works here. Go a bit more modern if you like with Mystery Jets or Junior Senior. Try to stick with songs that are relevant to you and your friends while mixing in some solid oldies like The Temptations to keep the older folks happy. No one has fond memories of disco.
2. Cupid – “Cupid Shuffle” (Group Dance)
Again, why do people need instructions on how to dance? Also, following instructions does not make you a good dancer, that makes you a good listener. I don’t think I really need to go into why this song is unacceptable. If you play this and expect people to dance to it, your friends will be bad mouthing you for years to come.
Recommendations: N/A. No form of group dancing (YMCA, the Chicken Dance, line dancing, etc.) is acceptable wedding music. Seriously, if you saw it happening at a middle school dance, it shouldn’t happen at any respectable adult’s wedding.
1. Journey – “Don’t Stop Believing” (Reception Ender)
I have one word to say to this song: NO. That is all.
Recommendations: You don’t really need a song telling people to get the hell out… just tell them to get the hell out. More updated closing down songs to send people off into the night: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – “Is This Love”, maybe The Strokes – “Someday” or “Take it or Leave” to really rush them out… Shout Out Louds – “Tonight I Have to Leave It” also works.
So I really hope that none of you ATH readers got all butt hurt about me bashing some of your wedding music. No offense, but some of you maybe needed to be called out on the matter. Let’s hear it readers, what songs make you want to leave the reception early? Anyone in need of a wedding DJ with any common sense, please contact me or any other ATH staff member for the well being of your friends and family.