FT5: Pop Artists That Shouldn’t Be On the Airwaves

Our ears and minds are usually unwilling to listen to logic when it comes to pop music on the radio airwaves. Despite the combination of dim lyrics and catchy tracks that make it to Billboard’s Top 100, there are a handful of artists that do not deserve to be in the music industry. Pop music on the radio isn’t what it used to be. Being in radio for years, I occasionally unplug my iPod and check out local stations to see what’s going on. The following are current pop artists that shouldn’t be on the airwaves, which includes every track they’ve ever created.

 

5. Justin Bieber

Have you reached the age where you restrict yourself from liking music that’s targeted primarily at children? Hopefully so. This 16-year-old teenage sensation with side plastered hair and a pitchy voice has caught the attention of young girls…and mainstream commercial radio? I don’t understand how grown women are freaking out about this kid who was born in the mid 90s. I have to admit that I was a super fan of Hanson while in middle school, but my obsession with young teenage boys was appropriate for my 13-year-old status. Bieber has a fairly good voice, but it shouldn’t be making millions quite yet. He shouldn’t have regular air-play until he can make a better song title than “Eenie Meenie” and his voice fully matures. Isn’t there a Disney station on Satellite radio?

 
 

4. Ke$ha

To be honest, I was caught in the Ke$ha circle with her debut single “Tik Tok”, yet tolerance ended there. This girl has managed to make a complete mess of herself on multiple television performances (such as SNL), and continued to gain fame with the dumbfounding track “Blah Blah Blah” featuring 3Oh3!. Her newest “My First Kiss” features lip-smacking sounds and another round of poorly rhymed lyrics. The fact that she has multiple dim-witted, brainless tracks racing the airwaves only supports my station surfing habits.

 
 

3. Owl City

This guy is another cause for many near fist-to-face scenarios…maybe I should have titled this “Bands That Cause Fights”. I will never be able to comprehend the popularity and success of “Fireflies”. Some of the rhythms could be compared to early work of The Postal Service, but I can’t handle Adam Young singing about grasshoppers and crickets under his bed. When I first heard this on the radio, I thought it was probably on a Disney or Twilight soundtrack. The overused edited vocals and false ambient synths are annoying and super cheese. I don’t look forward to his next track to hit the commercial airwaves.

 
 

2. Nickelback

This group of alt-pop d-bag-rock “musicians” has always found a spot in my burn pile. Chad Kroeger’s croaky, unappealing, constipated vocals create the same exact sound for every single track. The mixture of foul tunes and disturbing attempt at sexy lyrics continue to sell millions of albums. They know how to polish melodies for an audience who consider strip clubs and keggers sophisticated acts. “Rockstar” is pretty much the sound of hell opening up and offers listeners a quick moment to hit the ‘off’ switch before risking eternal bleeding from their ears. Too far? I say not far enough.

 
 

1. Miley Cyrus

I have a personal vendetta against Billy Ray’s daughter. May I list the reasons that have led to my hatred? She cannot sing, she has an overtly creepy relationship with her father, her songs have no reason and her younger sister has a lingerie line. “Party in the USA” is disgusting and nearly caused me to fight a group of fist-pumping frat boys because they were singing along on the dancefloor. Miley has even been quoted as saying she doesn’t like pop music and doesn’t listen to it. How can you find respect for someone who doesn’t even like the music she’s making? Miley can also fall into the category of ‘actresses that shouldn’t be artists’. This nearly scrapes the surface of my dispute and I’d rather drive in silence than hear her raspy tone.

 
 

15 comments

  • Ke$ha has to be made up…

  • The first time I heard Owl City (thanks for that, Slacker Radio), I thought, “wow, I used to like the Postal Service– how did I not notice how cheesy they are?”

  • I nearly added Tay Swift, because that poor girl cannot sing. At least she’s not skanky. Owl City is bull crap.

  • Does Pitchfork’s player count as Airwaves. Then my vote is for Sleigh Bells.

  • Wait stripclubs aren’t sophisticated?

  • @MairHeard

    She might not be skanky, but dang she has a messed up face.

  • NPR and AM sports radio. Yes i’m old.

  • Nathan, that does count. I don’t understand how talentless people can make it this far.

    @RayGun Yeah Tay Swift looks like a cat, or a woman who received a really bad facelift & eye tuck.

  • More like poop music, amiright?!

  • Taylor Swift looks like a baby deer. Lady GaGa & Kelly Clarkson for life.

    Ram

  • Next weeks top five…Worst 90’s Pop Stars come backs.

  • Nailed it with this list. I was driving in my car the other day wondering when someone was going to compile all the artist that makes me ears bleed. I’d need to listen to these guys music like I need cancer.

    Kesha rhymes “Mcjagger with swagger”. Fail

  • Now that i think about it, the black eyed peas belongs somewhere on here. Squeeze in a “6” member to this and add them because everytime i hear there music on the radio it makes the rest of my day suck, i’m sure i’m not the only one.

  • Have you reached the age where you restrict yourself from liking music that’s targeted primarily at children? Hopefully so. This 16-year-old teenage sensation with side plastered hair and a pitchy voice has caught the attention of young girls…and mainstream commercial radio? I don’t understand how grown women are freaking out about this kid who was born in the mid 90s. I have to admit that I was a super fan of Hanson while in middle school, but my obsession with young teenage boys was appropriate for my 13-year-old status. Bieber has a fairly good voice, but it shouldn’t be making millions quite yet. He shouldn’t have regular air-play until he can make a better song title than “Eenie Meenie” and his voice fully matures. Isn’t there a Disney station on Satellite radio?
    +1

  • Miley Cyrus is really hot and her songs are extremely outstanding.

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