Friday Top 5: Festival Tips from the Old Man Next Door

Ok I am the resident old guy. Aside from wearing good shoes, every festival goer needs to be reminded of five things. These are all on the back of my AARP card so I might as well share with you some knowledge. Fun Fun Fun Fest is only a week away. Yes. Really, just one week until I chase Slayer around with a boombox blaring Bieber tunes.

Head past the break for advice from someone that bought his first SxSW wristband at a grocery store…


5. Slow Down, This is a neighborhood…

Look whatever it is, it isn’t that important. Don’t be the guy that is busting it through the crowd only to plow over an artist moseying towards the band you were running to see. It isn’t worth frustration. Or the turf toe. Or the face plant/festival yard sale when inevitably an old guy trips you on purpose, but slyly makes it look like an accident.


4. Take your Vitamins

This sounds silly, but I have survived ACL and then the start of flu season during this mad tear of shows in October without getting sick. Oddly enough, the wife that threatened torture if I got sick (I am not a good patient), did get a chest cold that is still nagging her after two weeks. Me? Nope. I recommend a cocktail of B12 mega-dose and Zinc/Vitamin C lozenges. (This tip is only here so I could say lozenge.)


3. Mind you don’t get too much sun

Yes, the sun still works even if it is cooler outside. It still works through thin fall clouds. Don’t get burned. It sucks. You get the creepy pealing skin thing like the Dutch guy in the Austin Powers flicks. Shkin box, yech. And dry skin season is upon us. Take care of yourself so the back of your neck doesn’t look like a belt.


2. Get off my lawn, you damn kids…

Now we all know that the grounds become a community, but good fences make good neighbors. Try not to plow through someone’s blanket while they snack upon a turkey leg or are divvying up their weed, erm, roll your own tobacco. Be polite, apologize if you must cut through to get to your turkey leg or roll your own cigarette.


1. What do we say?

OK, good manners didn’t die with the advent of the Like button on Facebook. Please and Thank You still apply, even when getting charged $7 for a Lone Star. The nice person slogging iced beverages, risking manicure and skin health for your thirst deserves a thank you even if you don’t feel obligated to tip. That goes for when you are running through the crowd, too. Pardon me works wonders when breaking rule #5.

Please wear some damn earplugs, too. They are more comfortable than hearing aids…


One comment

  • Wouldn’t you know it, I go through October’s torrid pace of shows and get a chest cold now. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

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