What To Eat At FFF9

Soon. You will be hungry. Festing is hard work. You burn the calories with those 16oz curls. You will shimmy your way to slim if you don’t grab a snack or two. Thanks to the concept of mobile food vendors laser-focused on doing one thing really well, music festivals went from horrible concession stand gut bombs to delightfully crafted dishes, or at least a gourmet version of the gut-bomb.

So let’s review a few killer options to gnaw on at Fun Fun Fun Fest…

Frank – there will be daily specials to match artists, so be on the look out. Last year they had this one special that featured a sausage of German descent and a cranberry relish that made my mouth sing. Frank is the “if you are getting one thing for the day” meal and since it is a sausage on a bun, rarely do friends try “share” with you. #noneforyou

Chi’Lantro – These guys have been hitting all the major fests including ACL and Formula One and they are killing it. Look no further than the Kim Chi fries and the fried chicken tacos. These two menu items work very well to share with your significant other, split the two tacos, share the fries. Get one more napkin than you think you need, but don’t be a wasteful dick.

Burro Cheese Kitchen – The Waylon and Willie <- look no further (unless you are Veg+). Served on sourdough with cheddar, caramelized onions, maple bacon jam, pepperoncinis, this is one serious grilled cheese. They do have veggie options, but cheese is a requirement; sorry vegans. Kebabalicious – If you don’t know these guys, you can defriend me. Hammered? Get here before you have roomspin to soak up the booze.

Whole Foods – Safe choice, but I’ll pass. #dontbeapussy.

The Vegan Yacht – Toficken at a high level. I understand the mock chicken tacos are the way to go, but they are more famous for the Vegan Chili. Let’s face it, you can make any protein taste like Chili and add their Freetos, you have a no guilt snack just in case you already feel dirty for something you have done.

Juiceland – If you don’t want to get calories from solid food, Juiceland can accommodate your cravings for nourishment with having to chew (you lazy bastard). Go for the Cucumber based liquids. It is like rehab in a glass.

Bon Apetit!