FT5: Bands the Radio Should Ban

Honestly, I’m not a huge connoisseur of the air waves in our nation, but occasionally there are those days when I rush out the door without my iPod and I have to suffer the pain that is radio.  Recently, with my hectic schedule, this has happened more and more, so it left me to ponder why on Earth some bands still get ready play, and more so, some certain songs.  I thought of my top five, and while some are song specific, others just need to leave the airwaves in general.

 

5. MGMT

What? Why in the world would you put MGMT on there bro? Well, a multitude of reasons. First, the only song I seem to ever hear by the band is “Kids,” which was a good song, but one that I heard way way too much during my radio experiences.  I mean, at least Phoenix gave us two awesome songs to annoy us with during their radio dominance/tenure. It’s not just the fact that the song has been overplayed, but the fact that it’s not even the best song on their worst album.  I know, I know, you all love Oracular Spectacular, but why? It had three maybe four songs on it that were decent and catchy, but as a collection, it’s nowhere near the creativity of Congratulations. I’d rather MGMT get respect and adoration for their current work, which I deem more valuable, than the one song that all those “kids” fell in love with.

 
 

4. Smashing Pumpkins

Admittedly, I loved this band as a young teenager.  I could probably even play the majority of the songs on the radio on a guitar, albeit slightly off-key, which is why I never turned out to be much of a guitar player.  But, Billy Corgan is a huge dick, and I have no respect for the way he treats everyone in his projects, nor his overall perception of his place in the music world. The fact that he still gets radio play only feeds into his ego, which makes us all endure his douchebaggery even more than we should.  Not to mention the fact that he hasn’t done anything creative or fascinating since back in the day, so I’m pretty sure the radio could do without him, or “Today” or “1979” or whatever other track they decide to play from Siamese Dream this afternoon on 101X.

 
 

3. Muse/Kings of Leon

This is a pretty short one I feel, as it’s clear that both of these bands are worthless and should die.  I know, I was at ACL, and I saw Muse–twice in fact, but a great live show doesn’t excuse the fact that these guys sort of suck.  All their music sounds exactly the same, and I don’t care who is having babies with Kate Hudson, it doesn’t excuse the fact that you make redundant early Radiohead rip-off tracks to play on spaceships. I don’t even want to go near Kings of Leon, for fear of their legions of fans chasing me down with pitchforks.  Suffice it to say, that if you left a 15 year old virgin (boy or girl) in a room with these guys, he/she would probably come out pregnant. I hope this band realizes they have no talent and decide to hang it all up.  Break up guys, save the world.

 
 

2. Toadies

Dear lord, will you make this music go away? When I was 13, I, too, bought Rubberneck.  I jammed it out on the way to soccer practice, sang along to “Possum Kingdom” in the car, and yet here I am almost 18 years later, and I still hear the exact same song.  For it’s time, I’ll admit it was a sweet album, with some sweet jams, but do we really need to still hear it? I find it hard to believe that the last 15 years is so devoid of quality music that we can’t find something else to play on the radio other than this band.  I mean, I write about almost ten bands a week, who I think are making more creative music, yet these guys still get so much love.  Don’t get me wrong, the band had their place, but like so many bands before them, they need to retire from the radio, reserve their value, and just move on. Let some other mediocre band get some love out there.

 
 

1. Sublime

I don’t sit here pretending like I didn’t participate in the extra-curricular activities associated with Sublime, but that doesn’t mean that I had to associate my party habits with my musical tastes.  I mean, if you have to include bong rips in the background of a song to find yourself some fans, then you’re probably not writing very good songs.  It’s similar to the Bob Marley phenomenon, where a bunch of kids just love him because they think he smoked lots of pot, which I’m sure he did, but he also tried to be an advocate for the people of Jamaica. I don’t think Sublime were trying to advocate anything other than drug use, and unfortunately, that came back to bite them. It’s a shame that DJs think they can seduce young listeners with drug songs, rather than provide them with quality music that we all know is out there.  And, to top it all off, the best Sublime song I ever heard was “Hope,” which was a cover of a greater band who I will not mention in this piece so as not to ruin their name. Face it, drug music does not equal good music.

 

I know there are tons more bands out there, and I had a hard time narrowing it down to just 5, as you can see, but I think these are the one’s that I find as sins against the majority of listeners in the world. It’s a shame that radio can’t improve itself and offer better options for the masses.  It hurts even more when a radio station claims to be an independent, such as the one in Austin where I heard all these songs, then goes on to market rubbish to consumers in the same fashion as the rest of the corporate stations. Let’s face it folks. Radio sucks. Turn it off.

 

9 comments

  • In Calgary, Canada there is a radio station that plays all of your top 5 but they have a “No Nickelback guarantee” that I like. Nickelback are from a town not too far from Calgary and get plenty of airplay on other stations though…

  • Christina-I’m sorry to hear that Nickelback are still alive in kicking in your area. I think we’ve managed to escape them as of late, but I’m sure as I say this, I’ll end up driving home to one of their songs, thus hating myself for listening to the radio.

  • Every time I resort to litening to 101x, Toadies. Every damn time.

  • Every time I resort to listening to KGSR, Chris Rea. “We’re going to Texas, she says WHAT?”

  • I’ve never understood why anyone would like Sublime. I didn’t like them in high school.

    Muse is another band that just seems like they aren’t meant to be taken seriously.

    I think we could maybe do a similar list with songs that need to be banned. Every time I turn on 101x, “Seven Nation Army”.

  • To avoid listening to the radio at all costs, I have five back up cd’s that live in my glove box. I know I can depend on these to be better than 101x, or anything playing over airwaves these days. Gotta have a back up plan.

  • Man, y’all are hardcore dissing on some local radio. They do play a shit ton of White Stripes, all you Jack White obsessors.

    I do agree with your choices, even though I have a young love for Muse (since I’m way younger than all you dudes) and they were high on fire during my early college days. Now they are sucking.

  • Well, in my mind, there are really only two stations in Austin that one can even deem listenable, and I have problems with both of them.

    101x claims to be this Independent Radio Station, but you would think it would dedicate more time/effort to promoting interesting music, like KNAC did back in early 90s Austin. But, instead, they play the same bullshit that the other stations around the city/state/country play. Sure, they have 2 hours every Sunday of decent music, but I hate Andy Langer…guy is definitely a dick, especially after seeing him at the Chronicle Trivia Night…and he basically plays straight Pitchfork approved tracks.

    KGSR is actually the best station, but I fear their influence of the dude-bro. Somehow, I feel that they’ve encouraged dude-bros to enjoy one track from any given band, and thus I have to encounter these people with their cell phones filming said song for its entirety at venues like Stubbs, Antones, La Zona Rosa…and while I like their seletion for the most part, I fear the dude bro effect, having seen it dominate ACL the last few years.

  • Honestly, it’s too bad KTSWs airwaves in San Marcos don’t make their way to Austin, because they have finally gotten their shit down over the past few years.

    I know the dude-bro’s are seeming to take over certain areas of live music and it’s frustrating because we have to witness and deal with it. But what is a band’s ultimate goal other than to reach the masses and make the big bucks? It’s an awful cycle. I remember going with my friend to see KOL over YYY’s (it was sad) because she had never seen them. She-who likes dude bra’s-was even distraught over the fact that we couldn’t hear them over the douche yelling/singing. Gross.

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