FT5: Guys I’d Go Gay For

We’ve dedicated some time in the past to Hot Ladies of Indie Rock, which, well, is totally acceptable for a heterosexual male.  But, one of my homosexual brethren, Marcus, brought to my attention that I need to give some respect to some of the men of indie rock.  So, in discussion with my lady friend, I decided upon the five guys that I would be willing to go gay for, with, of course, the lady’s permission. It might sound a touch ridiculous, but come on, its a fun subject to discuss, albeit, one that will likely not come to fruition.

5. Matt Berninger

 Okay, you all know you love the National.  I mean, the band puts together well-crafted records with amazing poetic moments, often leaning towards sheer brilliance. At the center of this world is Matt, the man with that deep, dark voice, towering above the audience, gripping that microphone.  Sure, I’d probably laugh, but for some disturbing reason, the back of my mind has him whispering in my ear “I was afraid I’d eat your brains” in that guttural bass voice of his as we went at it.

 
 

4. Stuart Murdoch

 Belle and Sebastian has been one of my favorite bands, if not, the favorite band in my life for the past ten years.  They have consistently solid albums, and they always seem to be up to something super creative on the side.  Heading it all is the main man, Stuart Murdoch.  There’s something about his boyish charm, and I think most people can admit that he’s a reasonably good looking fellow.  Honestly, the main reason for my infatuation with Stuart, and the reason I’d go gay for him, is that I hope he’d include one of our gay moments in one of his songs, as he always seems to throw some sort of whimsical personal reference to his life in his songs. Please Stuart, me next!

 
 

3. Conor Oberst (circa 2000)

It’s given that he’s sort of lost his dazzling good looks, at least as he has spent time in Mexico recording new tracks with his Mystic Valley Band, but Conor, during the beginning of his days as Bright Eyes was a heartthrob for the ages.  Admittedly, I heard he cried a lot on stage, which I will have to believe is hearsay, for I’ve never seen it in his live performances, so that’s a bit of a turn-off.  But, all that aside, his warble warmed my heart for a long time, and I’m sure I would have let him cry in my arms at some point or another.

 
 

2. Jarvis Cocker

 Simply put, Jarvis is the SEX.  He’s exuded sexual prowess from the minute he first took the stage with Pulp, winning over hordes of boys and girls across the globe.  He’s everything I’d want if I were to go gay.  He’s a successful musician, he’s written some of the most brilliant songs that will forever live on in the musical catalogs of history, and honestly, dude’s still looking good in his forties.  I’d swing by his house, and all I can ask is that he’s wearing some sweet purple suit with a pair of nice big shades. Let’s pretend we’re common people.

 
 

1. Ted Leo

If you’ve read our site over the years, you know that this is a no-brainer.  Ted Leo just does it for me. For starters, he’s a brilliant wordsmith, with a brilliant mind.  You have to give it up to a guy who can be as politically active, and stick to his guns, almost two decades into being a musician.  Then, you throw in his musical tastes, which I want to believe are closely aligned with my own, so there’s another plus.  Add to that his energy when he’s melting faces on the stage, and you know Ted would be a firecracker in the sack.  Sure, he might not write a song about our little affair, but I have a feeling he would write me a long poetic note telling me how much it meant to him.  It would make him all the more endearing. All I need is a good old bottle of Buckie, and we can get this party started. I’m free the Saturday night before your set at ACL.

 
 

Okay, so this might not be exactly what you’re looking for, but it was actually kind of fun trying to think of attributes and styles for my perfect guy.  Tell me one thing, who would you go gay for? Or ladies, who’s your dream indie rocker?

6 comments

  • How could you leave off Christopher Chu from The Morning Benders ?!? To borrow from a Twitter post I read this week, he could sing me to sleep anytime. One viewing of the YoursTruly vids for “Excuses” and “Stitches” should make you instantly fall in love 🙂

  • I have a ridiculous crush on Tommy Sanders from Pete and the Pirates. The man knows how to write an incredibly catchy tune and onstage, his demeanor and vocal delivery will instantly put you under his spell.

  • Well played. I’d say those are the five most attractive indie rockers I can think of, except maybe the dudes from Air. They’re French, so you know they know some shit.

  • lol, lol, lol! great list. i can think of a few, but if i had to pick just one, it has to be (actually it makes me grin to think about it) zach of rogue wave. i don’t have a physical thing for him, but he strikes me as being super super sweet and well, can’t say i would mind a song to sleep now and again. or even just to listen to practices. i wouldn’t be in the way. so lovely. 🙂

  • ok, so he’s not bad to look at actually. haha, couldn’t resist.

  • …Where’s Dallas Green?

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